We had a fantastic time at Southeast Black & Blue Weekend, which I wrote all about in my previous post. Now, I've got a few more photos to share.
Family photo: Poet Gareth, Shdwkitten (chewing on my neck), Emrys, and Cuddles
Me and Cuddles
Pinning my omega during the mosh
Dogs Playing Cards (Sir Loki, Dante, Rocket, Emrys, Cuddles)
NoSafeWord's Daddy Tony teaching Hunter how to count to 10
Our pack (sans Hunter). Standing: Sir Loki. Kneeling: Gwynn, Bishop, boy Isaac. On all fours: Emrys, Cuddles
In the Mosh. (Boner in the cage, me and Cuddles down front, Hercules and Thrasher on the right)
Monday, August 11, 2014
Sir Alan and his family produced a really awesome event last weekend at the Atlanta Eagle. They decided to drop the title contests from SEBB weekend (due to a general over-saturation of Leather title contests – a wise choice, I think) and make it an education-focused event w/ classes and demos. It turned out really good. I think everyone in my family and pack had fun, met new people, and hung out w/ some old friends as well.
Things started THURSDAY when I took Cuddles, my new omega pup, for a hike in the mountains, along w/ my bio-dogs: Thunder the beta wolf and (new omega bio-dog) LeeLoo Dallas Multipass the Great Pyrenees.
(I know it looks like LeeLoo is getting ready to eat the cat, but actually she’s just yawning. Both doggies get along well with the kitties.)
We had a good hike to one of the more impressive waterfalls in the Blue Ridge, and all my puppies were very well behaved. I planed a longer hike (a second leg around a mountain lake), but Thunder and Cuddles were dragging after the first leg, so I decided instead to take us into Blowing Rock where Cuddles and I grabbed some drinks and fish-n-chips at my favorite English pub.
FRIDAY, Cuddles and I slept-in (and enjoyed sexy-fun-time) before we hit the road for Atlanta. We met up w/ my Alpha, Sir Loki, and he took us out to dinner w/ Pablo Green, author of the gay, BDSM erotica, How to Kill a Superhero. Dinner was great: both the food and the company.
Then we walked from the restaurant over to the Eagle for Gear Night. We met-up right away w/ pack-mates Bishop, Gwynn, and Hunter. I was especially happy to see my other little omega pup had made it back from his vacation in San Francisco safe and sound. I was glad to hear that he had fun, but I was a little worried about him while he was away (Hunter alone in San Francisco, what could possibly go wrong?). Hunter, Cuddles and I got our pup gear on. I changed into my vinyl body-suit and rubber hood (knee pads and paws), and put my two omegas on leashes. Alpha was busy tending bar that night, so I had to keep an eye on the children.
While we were gearing-up, my Owner arrived w/ her awesome boyfriend, Poet. Ma’am had to work Friday and then pick-up Poet on the way down, so they just met us at the Eagle. That meant that in addition to a day of work, Ma’am had spent about 7 hours in the car… so she had a few quick rum-and-cokes and loosened up. In addition to seeing a lot of familiar faces from the Atlanta crowed and a couple of our Charlotte peeps, we also got to meet The NoSafeWord Show’s Sparky, Daddy Tony and BondageKid all the way down from Seattle. That’s been one of my favorite podcastes for the last year or two, so it was neat to meet the guys behind it.
I felt a little bad b/c at one point I had to run some errand or other and left Poet holding Hunter’s leash (I don’t remember where Cuddles was at this time) and after a squirrel or two it took me a while to retrieve the Dalmatian… only to get distracted again somewhere and loose him again. I told Hunter I was sorry I kept abandoning him, but seeing how he was able to keep finding hot guys to engage with he wasn’t too upset about it. (He’s a sluty puppy.)
I had fun watching Ma’am get girls to flash her on the deck; she was having her own little Mardi Gras out there. I think the one other thing that stands out from Friday night was Hunter making a comment about a vanilla couple he saw come in.
Me: “Vanilla couple?”
Hunter: “I saw some guy come in here with his wife!”
Me: “Hunter, I’m here w/ my wife.” [nods toward Shdwkitten, who is busy making-out w/ Poet and flashing her boobs at people]
Hunter: “Yeah, well, they looked like they didn’t belong.”
I think my only regret about SEBB Weekend is that we were so busy w/ the event and so tired each night that it didn’t leave much time or energy for sexy-fun-time. I was a horny pup, and I really wanted to get pounced by Sir and I really wanted to pounce Hunter, but when you’re at the bar until 2 AM you tend to go home, crash, and get as much sleep a possible before the next, busy day starts. (At some point during the wee hours of the morning, a horny Cuddles woke me up, however, and I did get him off – again. I’m really spoiling him rotten: getting him off so much when my Dominants haven’t let me cum in over a week now. More evidence - if it was needed - that I'm not an Alpha.)
SATURDAY morning, Sir cooked us breakfast, and then we returned to the Eagle to help set-up. Other than hauling chairs and things around, set-up involved me getting bitten and chewed-on by both Loki and Shdwkitten. I don’t know why – but I do love being bitten! I was, however, a little worried that I was going to get all chewed-up before our Primal Play class even started.
I enjoy teaching the Primal Play class. It touches on some of my favorite themes: animal totems, shamanism, werewolves, no-mind headspace, psychic shape-shifting and animal transformation… plus it’s an opportunity for my Owner to go all were-tiger on me and claw and bite the fuck out of me! Woof! *wags*
I really liked teaching our class w/ Poet along w/ us for the first time. Everyone in the audience commented on how neat it was to see such different energies and dynamics between the way Ma'am and I play vs. the way she and Poet play.
In the second class session, it was Hunter’s turn to take a beating. Sir had volun-told Hunter to be Daddy Tony’s demo-bottom for impact play – not that it required twisting the puppy’s arm to get him to do it.
Next, we all got to watch them record a live episode of NoSafeWord (episode 98). That was a lot of fun. I saw most of it, but unfortunately I didn’t get to stay for the whole thing b/c my family decided they needed food, so we went to a restaurant for a good meal. After that we were all too tired to return to the Eagle, so we ended up back at Sir’s house curled up on the giant puppy pillow, napping, and watching TV.
SUNDAY, my Owner and Poet decided they really needed to return to poet’s home rather than go back for more SEBB b/c Poet has some costuming commissions he needs to get done. So Sir, Cuddles and I returned to the Eagle and helped again w/ morning set-up. Unfortunately, Hunter also was unable to return Sunday because a tree fell on his property or something. That meant I got to be Daddy Tony’s demo-bottom for his Toy Bag on a Budget class: wooden skewers, rubber bands, wooden spoons, cling-wrap, duct tape, clothesline rope…
Next it was time for the puppy mosh. We were all gearing-up back in the poker room when Slave Feyrie stumbled on us in the hallway and took these really amazing photos of me and my omega. She has a great eye w/ a camera, and did these w/ just her cell phone. (We were fortunate to have Feyrie as our wedding photographer when Kitten and I got hitched seven fantastic years ago.)
Before the mosh we also did two other photo shoots: (1) a family photo of Sir Loki’s pack… and (2) we gathered-up as many pups who had hoods as we could find and went into the poker room and did a photo of dogs playing cards. LOL. I’ll post those as soon as I get a copy of them - as well as the various other pics of us from SEBB weekend.
The mosh was fantastic! There was me, Cuddles, Boner (in the puppy cage), Bishop, Hercules, Rocket, Dante, Thrasher, Ace… I think that’s everyone… We had crazy fun and gathered quite a crowed of spectators. At one point they played “They Call it Puppy Love” over the PA, and we all stated howling. LOL.
The mosh was a great way to capstone the weekend. Afterwards, Cuddles and I took some cool-down time and then said our goodbyes – before the 4.5 hour drive back home to the Treehouse. A big thank you again to Sir Alan’s family, Sir Loki, and the other volunteers, presenters, and sponsors who made this event possible. I'll definitely be there again next year!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Recently (while having a very boring day at work) my Alpha, Sir Loki, made a post about his fetish for transformations. “Transformation has always been a big fetish of mine, from werewolves to hypnosis and cyborg conversions. I suppose each of those also ties in to a loss of control, now that I think about it.” As it would happen, Sir and I share this fetish (imagine that) – and I think I could also include pack-mates Gwynn and Hunter in this one.
I love transformations. Not so much the cyborg thing (I’m a Luddite), but turning humans into animals (though hypnosis or brainwashing, physical/surgical alterations, fantasy magic, or just sexy gear) is a hot erotic fantasy for me, and defiantly underlies my interest in puppy play and pup headspace. Can’t say I’ve had centaur fantasies like some pups I know, but I’ve been jerking-off to werewolves ever since I was 14. I’m not sure which came to me first: the original Howling w/ the werewolf sex scene or Marvel Comics Presents #54-59 which had a Werewolf by Night story penciled by Jim Fry that had a very Howling look to it…
To this day, during S/m play and during sex I tend to bark, growl, howl, and whine like a dog! During both: I love to be bitten and scratched. The sexy appeal of puppy gear stems from this as well: the rubber, vinyl, or Lycra skin; the hoods; the tails… For several years I wasn’t as much into that, but mostly out of practical necessity: I don’t have the money to spend on lots of gear and my Owner isn’t really into it – but recently I’ve been perving a lot more on internet pics of rubber and Lycra pups.
In Sir’s post, he shared a link w/ one of his favorite animal transformation-themed erotica, so I figured I’d share one or two of mine. Now, this requires something of a disclaimer. I will admit that the erotica I like tends to be very rape-y, very non-consensual. Bootbrush has often spoken out against this kind of depiction of our lifestyle and community, and I’m on-board w/ him. Yes, absolutely we need to show and celebrate loving, nurturing, non-abusive BDSM! What I think I would say is that there is a place for both “porn” and “romance,” and the problem w/ our community is that we have lots of good BDSM “porn” but no “romance” – we don’t often get the BDSM/leather equivalent of The Notebook, Sleepless in Seattle, or Pride and Prejudice. (Nobody is allowed to mention that stupid “BDSM” book that’s been made into, I’m sure, and equally stupid movie.) However, I have heard many a Dom admit that they have kidnap and rape fantasies. I’m sure there are other subs like me who have fantasies about being kidnapped and rapped… and forced into submission, mentally (and physically?) transformed…
Point of the disclaimer: both of these stories are pure fantasy and not what I would ever put forward to the "mainstream" as a representation of our lifestyle. I assume most of us perverts probably enjoy jerking-off to things that in real life would be absolutely tragic, horrific, and 100% unacceptable (not to mention totally unrealistic). Enjoy the fantasy and live ethically, i.e. SSC/RACK. Nuff said.
Stallions by 2NN
A bodybuilder goes home with a guy he meets at the gym… gets kidnapped, becomes addicted to sex, broken, and transformed into a pony.
Another Batch of Stallions by 2NN
In the sequel, four boys are kidnapped. Two become ponies (kind of repetitive), one a chastised house-slave, and one (my favorite part) a sex-addicted dog-slave. Woof-woof!
Monday, August 4, 2014
I’ve noticed something. Lately, I’ve been having a lot more opportunities to pup-out, but I’ve not been able to (or had the opportunity to) go as deep into pup-space.
So, if you are wondering, pup-space is a term frequently used for the headspace associated w/ puppy play. Puppy play can be a simple (and fun) form of role-play: the boy or girl acting out the role of a dog. For some of us, at least some of the time, however, it can be a real mental transformation; I call it psychic shape-shifting, and it’s the kind of things shamans have practiced for thousands of years. It’s still not very well understood by science, but we know it’s possible to “switch out” the image/understanding you have of yourself in your head w/ something that may be radically out of line w/ objective reality: e.g. the anorexic who thinks they are too fat while they are wasting away, or (my favorite example from The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat) a Caucasian woman who was perfectly normal in all respects except that she was 100% convinced that she was Asian. It is possible for the pup to reach such a level of mental involvement that (almost like self-hypnosis) he really starts to think of himself as a dog, w/ a dog body (I was once wrenched out of pup-space by catching sight of myself in a full-length mirror – I totally expected to see a wolfhound, not a human crawling on all-fours), and (for me, personally, this is the most striking element) loses the ability to speak or even understand English beyond a few names, words and phrases.
I used to be a regular at the Zen Center of Asheville. I practiced Zen meditation once or twice a week there for 2 or 3 years. When I first began doing puppy play, I found it very easy to reach when Zen calls No-mind: that mental state where the language centers of your brain dial back enough that you begin to get a more direct, immediate experience of the sensory world, taking in sights, smells, textures, and sounds w/o having words and labels in your mind to “think” about them. For many years, it was very easy for me to get on all fours and very quickly drop into this state. I didn’t feel like I was role-playing or play-acting doing this; I really “became” a large, shaggy dog.
I began doing pup play in 2004. Throughout most of those years, I was about the only pup I knew. Very few other people in the Carolinas or even Atlanta were doing puppy play in the previous decade. Frolicon is one of our largest regional kink gatherings, and I was the only pup seen at Frolicon for many years. Finally, around 2010 and 2011, the pup scene began to take-off… and it really started to explode in the last two years. Now we have new pups coming out of the woodwork, and god bless them! Yay for more puppies! I actually got into my first mosh a couple of years ago at Atlanta’s Spring in the South. I was really surprised that most of the other pups didn’t get into a pup headspace as I experienced it – most of them were talking and laughing, being silly, having fun, but not really giving-up their human thought patterns. So I learned then that pup-space wasn’t really an integral part of puppy play – for some pups’ that’s not what it’s about. At that same event, my Alpha gave me a good way to analyze different types of pups. Those who did the psychic shape-shifting thing like me were most likely “innate pups.” For us, being a pup really is a major part of our personality and identity. “Pup” is part of who we are – not just an activity we engage in. Those who enjoy puppy play as an activity are more likely to be “play pups” or “gear pups” (those who get off on the sexy gear associated w/ pup play – this would especially included rubber-pups). (I would totally be a rubber pup if I could afford it.)
Since that time, my opportunities to mosh and play around w/ other pups has continued to grow. What I’ve realized is that, while I’m puping-out a lot more these days, I rarely go as deep into that headspace as I used to. I’m still having lots of fun! I really do love human-puppies, and I love to just get down and play and chase and tackle and lick and pin and hump (or be humped)… but I’m now staying mostly in a human-ish mind while doing so.
I think there are two causes behind this. (1) The last few times I’ve puped-out (the last couple of CAPEX and last few Dominion events), we haven’t had a dedicated Handler watching over us specifically. In that situation it’s both difficult and unwise to go very deep into pup-sapce. Pup-space generally requires that you have a trusted Handler there watching and protecting you, so that you can really let go of human thought and act on animal impulse. My favorite example of this was a pup friend who told me that one day she was pup-playing in her back yard and a bird flew by close enough that she was able to actually catch the bird in her teeth. That’s crazy enough that a bird would get close enough for that to happen, but also wild that she did this w/o even thinking about it: just reached out and snapped down on that bird. You probably don’t want to be in that deep a headspace when you don’t have someone dedicated to keeping a close eye on you.
(2) For many years, when I puped-out, it was just my Owner and I playing together. Like I said, there generally just wasn’t anyone else around to pup-play with. Puppy play was never a primary fetish for her, but she nevertheless used to absolutely delight in playing fetch w/ me, petting me and rubbing my tummy, and leading me around on leash… and in those situations, whether it was just the two of us at home or at Frolicon in front of 200 people, it was easy for me to just let the human mind go and let the wolfhound take over. Well, while I’m getting in more pup time and interacting w/ other pups more (wonderful things) I haven’t gotten much of that kind of one-on-one Handler-puppy time lately. Ma’am and I got to play one-on-one some at Columbia TNG last month, and that was fun. But I think there was something about when it was just Ma’am and I doing this together that made it easier to be in that deeper headspace, maybe b/c it was a more consistent, ritual-like thing.
So, while I really enjoy the increased opportunities to get down on all fours and play w/ other pups, I also miss that ability to just drop quick and easy into a really deep puppy headspace and stay in it, potentially, for several hours. One thing I’m putting on my wish list is to go to an event (a party or bar night…) w/ a Handler and (like Bootbrush often does) just be in pup-mode the whole time w/o “breaking character” – to come and go from an event w/o speaking a single word the entire time. I got close to that at the Charlotte Woodshed during Trademark w/ my Owner and Poet, and I would really love to do more of that...
For my fellow pups: How important is pup-space to your play? How often do you reach it and how deep do you usually go?